Tips for involving your partner in the pregnancy – when you're not the one that's pregnant
Go to all the visits with the midwife
Sometimes you feel you simply have to attend the visits, in order to learn more and manage your feelings. You have the same right to visit the midwife as your partner does. And if both of you are there to hear what the midwife says, you'll be more likely to remember all the information and less likely to misinterpret it.
”It can be useful to discuss your feelings with the midwife if you feel you need support. Many people find enormous relief just from talking about their worries, anxieties or fears."
– Carolina Gäbel, midwife.
Blogging about pregnancy
If you find it hard to talk about your feelings, keeping a written diary can give you an outlet for all the changes, feelings and thoughts you are experiencing. It can be hard to see your pregnancy objectively when you're in the middle of it, but by documenting the process, you can go back and reflect on how you felt. This helps you track your progress in bonding with the baby. It's also an opportunity to network with other expecting parents online, support each other and share information.
"Blogging about Lisa's pregnancy made me feel more involved in our second pregnancy, when I was the non-pregnant partner."
– Sanna, mother to Adrian, 3 years and Ines, 6 months.
Find encouragement and support in the Libero Club
It's useful to get an outside perspective from experienced parents. You can submit comments and questions in response to threads in Libero's Parents' Talk when you join the Libero Club. Club members can share experiences and give each other support and encouragement.
"Your feelings may alternate between deep joy, anticipation, worry and anxiety, and they serve an important purpose in helping us become better parents. It's useful to share your thoughts and feelings about becoming parents."
– Carolina Gäbel, midwife.
Getting your home ready for the baby
By getting your home ready for the baby, you're also mentally preparing for its arrival. You're making the baby welcome both in your home and in your thoughts. It can be hard to picture a foetus, but a cot seems more real because it's tangible. So preparing a space for your newborn can help you imagine your future life together.
"I linked the baby to material objects, for instance by buying a cot. I thought, if Sharon takes care of the bump, I'll take care of the rest."
– Marcus, father to Billie, 8 months.
Talk to your baby, sing or play music
Even if you sing off key, it's as effective as holding a lecture. It teaches your unborn baby to recognise you. Hearing a familiar voice straight after birth will make your baby feel safe when it enters a totally unexpected world. And your performance might even get a round of applause when the baby appears.
"Some parents tell me that the baby calms down and moves less when they sing or play certain types of music."
Ingrid Svensson, child psychologist.