Siblings’ fights are common, squabbling and arguing is more or less a part of family life. But perhaps that knowledge isn’t enough for you to keep your cool and stay sane. Carry on reading and get some tips on how to keep the peace around the house.
That its natural and a matter of personality is a small consolation though, and actually not much help when you have to deal with two or more kids fighting day in and day out.
Here are some small tips to help you manage things in the long run:
Never compare your kids with each other. No competing like, “who can put on their shoes first?” Yes, it’s a great tactic to get everyone out of the door in time for anything. But try something else.Encourage teamwork whenever possible (perhaps it’s them against you in the next board game?) and acknowledge cooperation with a lot of praise.Nurture their differences and personal strengths. Give a little privacy, and especially if they are sharing a room. An hour from time to time without the company of each other is calming. Find time alone for each kid. Encourage outside friendships.Teach them to always, and especially when they are fighting, show respect for one another.
But what do you do when you hear an argument starting? Try this:
First: Give them a chance to work out their disagreement on their own, they need to learn that.
Second: Intervene. Let each tell the story, no interrupting is allowed and everyone gets a turn. Being heard is really important for one’s self-esteem. Stay neutral at all times. Find out the facts.
Third: Then ask; “What can you do to solve this problem?” Make suggestions when the kids seem stuck.
And remember it’s almost impossible to be fair in every situation. But in the end it will even out. Just like life.
If nothing above works there is one more solution, AAD; Anticipate And Distract. It asks more of you as a parent, always being on top of things, always within hearing, it’s kind of tiring. But sometimes, and for periods, an intervention before the argument escalades is the only sane solution. At least for your nerves and tortured ears.
More tips? Please add them.