The truth about sex
At some point between six months and a year, and from then onwards, life with your baby starts to become more "ordinary"; many women begin to phase out breastfeeding and start to gain interest in other things alongside bonding with their baby. They're no longer "high on hormones" in the same way. But even so, they still might not feel up to sex.
Still no lust
The fatigue is still there; and no wonder. Being available on demand is tiring. Your child's needs control your life day and night, and you have to be able to keep up with that. Everything else is secondary.
But is sex important? Absolutely crucial, if you read the tabloids and women's magazines; and it's easy to compare yourself with other people. Articles (which can't possibly be true!) and statistics that take into account energetic 20 year olds and newly-in-love and childless 30-somethings might make you feel that something's not quite right between you and your partner. We think we should be up to sex more often. Better sex. About 2.7 times a week seems quite reasonable, if you believe everything you read.
So it’s not odd that parents begin to feel there's something wrong with them, and with their relationship when everyone else seems to be doing it all the time. But hand on heart, ask your friends: how often do the parents of young children actually have sex?
Keep working on sex
Once you've put the baby to bed, tried to scrape up the food that's set solid on the kitchen table, trodden on a piece of Lego, hung out a machine-load of washing and perhaps run the vacuum cleaner round, all you're fit for is flopping down exhausted on the sofa. The last thing on your mind is sex.
Perhaps you doubt you’ll ever reach the happy medium of 2.7 times a week. But you can try, and keep trying. And until then, if once a month is good for you, then do it once a month! That's a lot better than not at all. And maybe that's exactly how much is needed right now.